The only impossible journey is the one you never begin….( we are on our way)

Man on top as silhouette in mountain

A new year has begun and we are two months into it already! I know I have been missing in action lately and I am really sorry. Having said that, I am happy to say that there are lots of developments at my end. A few of these are to do with my daughter’s treatment and a few others are associated with related topics. So you see, I have a lot to share with you.

First I would like to mention a few things which are uppermost in my mind. I would like to begin my first post this year by expressing my gratitude for all that I have and enjoy. I am really grateful for all the precious and memorable moments spent together as a family. I am also thankful for the constant and untiring support provided by my daughter’s doctors and by our extended family. As a family dealing with a child with a chronic condition, we know only too well how difficult it becomes from time to time, how very exhausting. It is only with all the support that we get that we have managed to come this far.

While it is very difficult to witness the pain and suffering that my daughter has to endure on and off due to her severe eczema, we make sure that as a family we do not forget to have fun, to do the small and big things which we enjoy. Those of you who have been with us from the beginning will know that we have come a long way in the past few years.

Confirmation of a “leaky gut”

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(Source: http://draxe.com/4-steps-to-heal-leaky-gut-and-autoimmune-disease/)

In my earlier posts I have shared with you that my daughter is currently on a treatment based on Functional Medicine principles. I have written in details about Functional Medicine in my earlier post (https://eczema-anindianperspective.com/2015/09/10/the-functional-medicine-and-gut-health-approach-to-managing-chronic-conditions-including-eczema/) and you can find out more about it for yourself using the links given in the post. My daughter has been on this treatment for a bit more than 3 months now and we have just done some tests for her to see if there are any improvements. But before I get to that in my next post, a bit more about these tests which confirmed that she had a gut health issue and determined her course of treatment.

The whole approach of this treatment is to heal the gut (or small intestine), wherein lies the cause of many autoimmune disorders and chronic conditions including eczema. These very specific and specialised tests which were done in London last year confirmed what I had been reading about and what I had suspected over the past year or so. Having a “leaky gut” meant that undigested food proteins and bacteria were passing on to the blood stream from inside the intestine and causing her immune system to overreact. This had caused systemic inflammation inside her body over a period of time and had led to her eczema eventually.

One of these tests assessed the gut barrier damage by measuring antibodies to barrier proteins called Occludin and Zonulin. The other factor was the presence of Lipopolysaccharides (LPS) which are toxins given off by some of the gut bacteria. If they are found in the blood, it usually means there is a breach in the protective gut lining. Both of these were present in her bloodstream in high amounts.  The other tests showed that her microbiome (the collection of symbiotic, commensal and pathogenic bacteria, fungi and viruses which reside in our gut) was also in poor shape and that her body was not able to digest and absorb the nutrients efficiently. All of these tests collectively reaffirmed the fact that she had a gut health issue leading to a “leaky gut” .

Ongoing Functional Medicine treatment

 

Gut Health Word Cloud On a White Background.

The primary objective was to start healing her gut using a combination of supplements and medical foods, lifestyle and dietary changes. Hopefully, over a period of time theese measures would reduce the chronic inflammation in her system and bring her eczema under control without the use of harsh medications. I had already made the necessary changes as far as her diet (https://eczema-anindianperspective.com/2014/12/29/our-new-eczema-diet-and-a-heart-full-of-gratitude/) and lifestyle (https://eczema-anindianperspective.com/2015/07/23/green-power-greener-alternatives-for-laundry-and-cleaning-products-especially-for-eczema-and-sensitive-skin-2/) were concerned.

She has been prescribed supplements to repair and reinoculate her gut and strengthen her immune system. These include supplements like L- Glutamine (to repair intestinal lining), probiotics (we use a brand called Culturelle as well as Bifido Complex by Metagenics), Omega 3 (Nordic Naturals), Metagenics GI Sustain (a medical food containing vitamins, prebiotics, minerals). It has been a bit more than 3 months since we started her on this treatment which continues along with her regular immunosuppressive medication (Methotrexate). Her test results will come in anytime now and will show if there is any improvement since we started her on these supplements in October. I will share the results with you as soon as I can.

The silver lining in all of this is the fact that for the first time since the doctors put her on harsh immunosuppressive medications since 2012 (Azathioprine, Cyclosporine, Methotrexate at various points in time), this is the first time that I have been able to reduce her dosage from the optimal level. She has been doing fine on this dosage for the past month or so. It is a small but important step in the right direction and it really counts.

(For further reading: http://draxe.com/4-steps-to-heal-leaky-gut-and-autoimmune-disease/

http://drhyman.com/blog/2014/10/10/tend-inner-garden-gut-flora-may-making-sick/

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-10754/the-6-best-ways-to-heal-your-gut-restore-your-health.html)

Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations

Famous Redwood Highway

It is so true! This is something I have come to know the hard way. Life changed for us completely about 4 years back when our daughter’s eczema turned into something so much more severe and complicated in the form of a chronic condition. I had to let go of my past way of living as a full time working mom and commit myself full time to taking care of the family and my daughter’s special needs. Of course, the whole family has had to make changes regarding our social commitments, travel, diet and other aspects of life. It has not been an easy road for any of us and indeed our daughter has faced the brunt of it. But even as I wish my daughter never had to deal with eczema at all, it has shaped us all in ways which have made us stronger, kinder and more resilient than ever before.

I have been sharing my research and knowledge about eczema and its related topics with you through my blog.  I also realised that in order to make all the changes necessary to manage my daughter’s eczema, I had to first make sure that she understood her condition in an age appropriate manner. I did this with the help of information and facts on eczema, countless discussion and counselling, story books and other means. This has helped her to not only accept the physical aspects of dealing with eczema (like moisturising and bathing routine, diet etc) but also deal with the far more difficult emotional aspects of living with this chronic condition.

My daughter’s dermatologist Dr Amrita Talwar has been instrumental in encouraging me to share our story and subsequently to write a book about eczema specifically for children. This has led me to write a book for children on this topic and is the first major development at my end. Both Dr Talwar and I realised that while there are many many resources for parents and adults who are looking for information on eczema and ways to deal with them, there is practically nothing for the children who are actually suffering from eczema. Hence the decision to write a book based on the experiences of a young girl dealing with her severe eczema. This book should help other children understand, accept and ultimately deal with their condition in a better manner. This book is scheduled to be published in the month of April and I will keep you posted on the same.

The other development at my end is that I will begin a new chapter in my life in the form of health counselling as a certified Health Coach. Over the past few years I have gathered a lot of knowledge about eczema and related topics pertaining to lifestyle ( clothing, detergents, moisturisers etc), foods  ( gluten free, nut free, dairy free) and their availability in India, essential oils, stress management through mindfulness meditation etc. I  would like to put all of these practical knowledge of dealing and living with a chronic condition as a caregiver to good use and share with others who are struggling with similar issues.  I decided to augment my experience and practical knowledge with a course from the esteemed Dr Sears Wellness Institute in the US to become a certified Health Coach. As many of you may know already, I had also started a Support Group for parents whose children suffer from eczema in Mumbai. I had taken a break due to my other commitments last year but I am planning to restart the Support Group meetings as well. My counselling work is also likely to begin in the next couple of months.

I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust the sails to always reach my destination

sailboat and sunset

This is exactly what I have had to do  in order to cope in the past few years as the primary caregiver for my daughter. This is what I teach her as well. While we cannot always change or control all the tough situations that life brings us, we can choose how we react to them.

In this post I have decided to focus only on the few baby steps that we have taken forward. We need to celebrate every little bit of achievement even if it may not look like much at all at that time. We have realised the hard way that dealing and living with a chronic condition is more like a marathon than a sprint and every step forward is a reason to rejoice. I hope we have more such reasons to celebrate in 2016!

 

Beauty is not just “skin” deep- helping your child cope with eczema

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They say “Beauty is only skin deep” and I agree with them. But in most of the cases “they” do not have to cope with eczema. Only someone who is living with eczema day in and day out knows how difficult it is not to wilt under the stares, looks and occasional taunts of other people. I might not know it first hand but I do feel the pain every time my baby tells me a heartbreaking incident of another child (mostly) who teased her or commented on her looks, weight etc. It is very hard for me not to cry in front of her and/or find that person and go charging at him or her and give a piece of my mind. I myself have been blessed with good clear skin and I would give anything to change places with my daughter in this regard.

I do know that however difficult it might for both of us, the best way I can help her is by teaching her to be strong and to be prepared to answer questions from other inquisitive children and people. I also remind her often that we are proud of her and that she is a brave girl. Because, as much as I would like to protect her from all the hardships related to her eczema, I know that I cannot be with her all the time. And a major part of her struggle is not just physical. It is a mental struggle just to accept the reality of this chronic condition as well as to cope with it. Add to this she is just seven years old and you can see what I mean. Thus, a big part of the support is to teach my daughter to live with severe eczema and be happy in spite of it (till the time she grows out of this or we are able to find a way to get rid of it).

I still don’t have the answer to her question ” why did this happen to me and not anyone else?” And perhaps I never will. But what I do tell her is that she is not alone in this and though she might not realise it there are so many other children like her who have severe eczema and other different serious medical problems. But, unlike other medical conditions, eczema makes it difficult to hide the condition due to its physical manifestations. This is one major aspect which makes it so difficult to cope with.

There are moments when my daughter will keep asking me the same questions over and over ” when will my skin get better?” and ” will next year be worse?” ( her terrible experiences with eczema this year and last is the one which prompts this question and has been captured in my earlier posts). I can only reassure her that it will and next year will be better but I am unable to put a timeline to it. I do not want to make empty promises to her but at the same time I need to keep her spirits high (which is easier said than done). I constantly reassure her that all her caregivers including her family and doctors are looking out for her through her medications and other measures. It comforts her to be reminded often that she is not alone in this.  I am sure that those of you who have children with similar chronic conditions would be doing everything 24X7 to keep your child in good spirits. I decided to share some of the things that are working for us (well most of the time).

“Stop scratching” doesn’t help

There a lot of times that her itching increases significantly. I have realised that she simply cannot stop scratching when she sweats a lot or is very stressed or sleepy and saying “don’t scratch” will not help. Luckily, she is a creative child so I have been able to somewhat distract her by helping her do some craft activities, drawing and painting and puzzles at various points in time and reading to her and even singing together. These are things which interest her and help her calm down. Thus she is able to relax mentally and the antihistamines seem to work faster. I have also just started doing yoga with her ( with the help of short videos of yoga meant for children) as another way of controlling her stress and helping her relax. I hope to give you a positive update on this in the future.

A child counselor or psychologist 

I recently took Aiyana to meet a child psychologist as we had been planning for some time. Her doctors and I agreed that it might help her to speak to a third person (especially to a trained professional) since hers is a chronic condition and in light of all the trauma that she has been through in the last couple of years. Lately, she had also been complaining of nightmares with regards to her itching and skin condition (this seems to have stopped in the past week or so). When I took her last week it was heartening to be assured by the psychologist that Aiyana seemed to be a happy, balanced child in spite of all that she has endured in her young life. Still, Aiyana was very happy to have someone in authority listen to her problems (apart from her parents and doctors) and so I will be taking her occasionally for counselling.

You are not the only one

This is one thing I keep repeating for both our sakes. I have to remind her that there are many other children ( and other concerned/stressed parents like us) like her out there even though they may not be part of our friends and family.What  gives her some measure of comfort is to hear the inspiring stories about other people who battle their own demons, handicaps, debilitating conditions and have still managed to live life on their own terms. She especially loves hearing about true, inspiring stories of children with physical disabilities who have succeeded in sports and others with serious medical conditions and yet led happy lives. I am motivated by encouraging stories of mothers who have moved heaven and earth to enable their children suffering from severe eczema live a comfortable and happy life and of some other mothers who have gotten rid of it as well.

Aiyana with her doting uncle

Aiyana with her doting uncle

You’re beautiful inside and out

My darling Aiyana is the sweetest daughter that anyone could ever have and one I could have ever wished for. Her complete hair fall earlier this year has caused her much heartbreak and she still endures teasing from other children from time to time about “looking like a boy“. All those times when she cries her heart out because some child in school has told her she has such bad skin or try to peek under her scarf and tease her about her lack of hair, this is what I tell her. That no matter what one looks like on the outside and no matter how much emphasize is on one’s looks, what matters is that she is a loving, caring child who makes our world a better place to live in.

“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”

If life gives you lemons make lemonade retro poster

And last but not the least, this is our new-found motto. I have shared the secret of living a happy life (in spite of all the problems) with my daughter – ” just add some sugar” when your life is filled with lemons (I have even managed to find and buy a tshirt for her saying the same thing- she is very happy wearing it!).

We try to look beyond the pain and look at the possibilities as well as all the achievements. This helps us to look at a future filled with hope and a determination to live life by enjoying each and every moment. And if that is not enough, I can always count on loads of hugs and kisses to lessen the pain for my daughter (however momentary it might be).

We laugh and make our very special ” lemonade”  on those days that seem overwhelming.

 I hope you can find a way to make your own with your child as well!

Related posts:

When the going gets tough…(Part 1)

….the tough get going (Part 2)